I don’t know what you have done to me…!!
Left me isolated from everything I ever loved.
There is an eminence amount of animosity, hatred, irritation, discomfort, suffocation, and suffering, undergoing in me after you left.
It’s like I am standing in between a road and have lost my path.
It’s like I want to breathe but some kind of suffocation is there in the air.
It’s like I need to sleep but your memories had kept me awake
I am getting immune to the pain.
Lately, I avoided my grief and sorrow way too much that now I am not able to feel anything,
I am getting numb now.
I don’t feel happiness
I don’t feel pain
I don’t feel excited about anything new
I don’t feel guilty for not doing anything once I love glorifying
I don’t know what’s happening to me.
And you know what…?
It’s Not in My hand..
I believe once you love someone way too much, you give them the power to hurt you like nothing else.
I tried so hard not to feel anything
That it’s becoming like a habit now, a pattern of behavior…
Is it normal?
Detaching yourself from everyone and everything you once cared for and not talking to your best of friends?
Why is this isolation giving me so much comfort?
Why this solitude is easing my tangled heart?
Why I am not able to open up with anyone?
Why I am so hell scared that if I’ll allow anyone to know me,
They will end up damaging me to the end.
I am scared to allow anyone to hardly talk to me, get to know me, see into my soul, and screw me until they are done with me…
Is this normal???
I guess that’s what takes place to you when you love someone so much that you forget to honor yourself above them.
That you became lifetime credibility to them, you think you must keep them pleased and in the end, you lose yourself
Because for them you were barely halfway.
A medium between the shiny soothing start, a cold breezy wind, and home of twinkling eyes waiting for them at the doorstep.
I guess it’s pointless, heartbreaking, and overrated emotion over our head that will leave us withstanding anxious about ourself
And I guess we will live with that terrible emotion all over our life.
It will become a sustainable grinding feeling and we will realize that it is..
The New Normal…
-Apoorva Srivastava 🙂